I’m a sovereign citizen
fully self-reliant
I ask for nothing from anyone
and I promise you the same
when the revenuers try to chat with me
I tell them nothing!
nothing! but my number and my name
I built my car myself
using minerals I mined myself
and the rubber tree I tapped without help
is in the back garden
beside my little oil derrick
I drive on roads I paved myself
to little towns with no one in ’em
it’s lucky I don’t need supplies
you shouldn’t be surprised
that I grow it all myself
from coking coal to cinnamon
I’m atomised and autonomous
and use homemade cures for jaundice
and pastilles for rubella
I’ve even done surgery on myself
with a little knife I forged
now there’s a chance you don’t believe me
and you may think I’m full of shit
but don’t come at me for being smug
because what you need to know about smugness
is that I invented it
Errata 